October 24, 2009

Loss of sensation.

Salam. Sedikit luahan perasaan. Hmm tak taulah nak consider ini perkara yang baik atau tak. Tapi yang saya perasan, saya sekarang macam dah lain sikit. Huhu. Bukan apa, semenjak dua menjak ni serasanya macam dah kurang berperasaan. Kalau happy tak happy sangat, kalau sedih pun dah macam tak sedih.


Kalau zaman kecil-kecil dulu, sayalah yang paling cepat menangis dan merajuk. Baru je kena jegil mata sikit, dah mengalir air mata. Kalau mengaji quran dengan ayah pulak, habis basah quran tu dengan air mata bila kena marah sebab salah baca. Adik-beradik yang lain cool je kalau kena marah dengan ayah pun. Bila dah sekolah menengah pun sama. Cepat sangat terasa kalau orang cakap apa-apa.


But things changed, and of course people too. Kalau di optech lab, (tempat kami practise handskill untuk treat patients with teeth probs n so on) saya langsung tak ada perasaan kalau kena marah dengan supervisor. Sedikit sedih tu mungkin ada, tapi tak lah sampai keluar air mata macam dulu-dulu. Kalau kena puji pulak (baru je sekali kena puji pun) tak rasa happy pun.


Bahayalah rasanya kalau perkara ni berterusan sampai ke klinik nanti. Bak kata Dr Azwatee, a dentist is someone who works with head, heart and hand ( but i think most ppl work with these things too, arent they?) and I wonder if i'm heartless, got no feelings, will that make me a good dentist by then? Nanti nak cabut gigi orang pakai tarah je. Orang sakit ke, tak sakit ke.. main cabut je. Eheh. Sorry2 I was just exaggerating. Kalau orang dah sakit meraung-raung tu kita buat tak kisah saja, I dont think we can even call that person a human, at all.


Hmm entahlah. Dulu masa terlalu sensitif, nak jadi kuat. Sekarang bila dah kuat (ye ke?) rasa macam nak sensitif pulak. Terutamanya bila kita menghadap Tuhan, saya mengharapkan perasaan yang cukup sensitif, yang membolehkan saya menangis dalam sujud dan doa. Tapi jarang nak dapat perasaan macam tu sekarang ni. Terlalu banyak perkara dalam fikiran. Sedangkan Allah itu memang dekat sangat dengan kita. Nak mengadu apa pun boleh.



I wonder if this thing happen with an increase in age. And if it does, can I just wish I will never age? Because being sensitive seems to be a good thing after all. Hmmph.

3 comments:

pYa said...

izyan..saye rase sbb kite da lali kene marah dgn doctor..
tapi hal lain selain optech..tak ubah pe2 pun rsnyek..
u r not loss of snsation..its just u bcome tougher..but dont worry dear..people do change..Allah da bg awk kekuatan..

Yuana said...

i like optech. it teached on how to be STRONG. Really! Kena marah dgn Dr? i dont care...proceed and do my best! is this u called as loss of sensation?

when u give local anasthetic injection to patient, they will first realize the feeling of loss of sensation, FOLLOMED BY you. you can 'tarah' cabut gg pt, and im sure pt u takkan menjerit sakit. they already LOSS OF SENSATION. (jus kiddin')

anyway my dear floormate, coursemate, my sis, my halaqahmate, my suraumate etc....

as long as hati kita tenang, tenteram...kita patut bersyukur dgn nikmat ini. ada org fikiran dia kacau. stress...menangis stp hari...tak masalah study masalah boypren, takpun masalah duit atau keluarga.

kene marah pun kita happy(tenang) kene puji pun kita happy(tenang).

DO YOUR BEST!

Izyan Zainuddin said...

pya: hmm u know wat, i guess u r right la pya. i am actually becoming stronger, n yes, i'm only strong at optech! klu psl hal len.. i'm still weak la senanyer. tp xpe, at least ade peningkatan kn.. n u missy, no nangis2 nemore alrite. jom sama2 jd kuat! :D


kak yuliana:
haha.. yea2.. i know loss of sensation sounds a lil bit weird. it shud hv been loss of feelings ke no more emotions ke baru la btol kn (ehehe bila dr yuliana dah bersuara :p)


n thanks for ur opinion. really appreciate it! skang ni dah rasa seronok n bersyukur jadi sy yg baru kat optech ni. hehe. alhamdulillah :)

About Me

25. Aim to live with the principle of to love for others what I love for my self. A dentist by profession. A Muslim by religion. A Dai'yah by action ( well at least that's what I hope I am) My writings are usually of reflections on matters happening around me.

Recent Posts

Followers