When love is rizq

Love is a rizq. Love is a provision.

Isn't it amazing that the feeling of love is a type of rizq?

Our Prophet (peace be upon him), in one occasion when mentioning about his wife, Khadija was reported to have said 'ruziqtu hubbiha' meaning 'Allah has provided me her love'.

'A'isha reported:
Never did I feel jealous of the wives of Allah's Apostle (peace be upon him) except in case of Khadija, although I did not (have the privilege to) see her.

She further added that whenever Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) slaughtered a sheep, he said: 'Send it to the companions of Khadija.' I annoyed him one day and said: '(It is) Khadija only who always prevails upon your mind.' 

Thereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: 'Her love had been nurtured in my heart by Allah Himself.'

(Muslim)

I find this hadith to be really beautiful. In this profound hadith, our Prophet (peace be upon him) taught us that there is another kind of rizq. The rizq that is not visible for our eyes to see. The rizq, that can only be felt.

When our parents kissed our cheeks and told us that they love us, wouldn't we feel happy? When our friends, our dear sisters gave us a hug and told us that they love us for the sake of Allah, we would certainly feel grateful and we'll surely tell them we love them back. When a person came to us and told us that they love us, we without doubt would feel humbled and thankful, and if that person is of opposite gender, we would then manage this to the best of our abilty- to make it halal or to decline, after careful thoughts and performing our istikhaarah.

The fact that love is a type of rizq is indeed true. When we call it rizq, we realise that not all people can actually own it. Rizq, is a present from Allah, given to whoever He wants, whenever, wherever. There are so many people out there still seeking for love but have not found it. This is why the feeling of love, whether you love or being loved, should be cherished. And as a Muslim we cherish love in accordance to the shariah.

The only problem that we face today (or what I used to face) is that we don't know how to place this rizq in our lives. There are times when we are in denial that we try our best to deny this feeling from emerging in our heart. But then again, Islam never taught us to deny what our heart feels. The beauty of this religion is that it taught us to be cautious, that it shouldn't be handled so recklessly that we let it to dictate our lives. Because this is when love now becomes worship and obsession, while our worship should never be to the creation, but only to the Creator, the Owner of the love Himself.

That is why I find the story of Prophet Ibraheem (peace be upon him) who was tested to sacrifice his son, and the story of the mother of Prophet Musa (peace be upon him) who was ordered by Allah to allow her son to float downstream of the great Nile river are full of lessons. 

And when he reached with him [the age of] exertion, he said, "O my son, indeed I
have seen in a dream that I [must] sacrifice you, so see what you think." He said, "O my father, do as you are commanded. You will find me, if Allah wills, of the steadfast." (Quran 37:102)

And We inspired to the mother of Moses, "Suckle him; but when you fear for him, cast him into the river and do not fear and do not grieve. Indeed, We will return him to you and will make him [one] of the messengers."(Quran 28:7)

In these two occasions, Allah has taught us that loving your child is never wrong, but you have to realize this one important thing; that He is the One that you should love first before loving anything else- even if it is halal for you. Even if it is your spouse, your family and children. And what is more amazing is that once you let Allah to be your main focus in life, love will come back to you. It will multiply. Prophet Ismail (peace be upon him)  grew up to be a fine young man, continuing his father's legacy, while Prophet Musa (peace be upon him) did come back to his mother and became a great prophet in history. So never ever think that the sacrifice you make for the sake of Allah is not worth it. Rather, it is far, beyond worth it.

Thus in answering where and how to place this love in our lives, maybe we should just treat it like our medication- we know it heals us with the correct dosage we take but once we have it too much, we know we will kill ourselves.

So to every single person who have come to my life and giving me your love, you know I can never thank you enough. The gift of love you have given me has made my life so colourful.. And I hope that I can, or have returned it the same way, so our lives will be just as vibrant :)

I pray that God will bless us with the provision of love that we all desire, to make sure that the love we have for humanbeings will be the cause for us to enter his Jannah and not to lead us away from it. 

That being said, I think it is high time we cherish this rizq now. Be thankful if you love someone. Be even more thankful if you are being loved by someone. Because if you really are a truthful servant of God, you will understand that this rizq will enrich your heart. By cherishing this, you know you will always come back to the One who blesses you with this rizq. You will always come back to al-Wadood, the Most-Loving.

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I don't know your definition of love

                                                         



* This post is a reflection of what I felt after my convocation ceremony has ended*


Bismillah

I don't know what your definition of love is,

But for me, love is when your father came to your convocation ceremony bringing along a bouquet of fresh flowers into the hall. He carried it happily hoping to pass it to his daughter at the end of the event not knowing that the water beneath the bouquet was dripping down during the whole ceremony hence causing the floor around him to be flooded with water. Upon realizing, he wiped it with his handkerchief. Knowing it was to no avail as the handkerchief is now soaked, he then wiped it with his socks.


I don't know what your definition of love is,

But as for me, love is when your mother is ready to walk miles just so she can witness her daughter taking a scroll on the stage despite the fact that she knows it's going to be difficult for her Parkinson's disease. Despite the fact that she has aching soles that each step she takes is a painful one. But she keeps on putting a smile on her face and the pain is as if nothing to her when she gets the chance to kiss the cheeks of her daughter.


I don't know what your definition of love is,

But as far as I know, love is when your family always make time for you although they too, have other important things to do in life. Always listen to your problems, don't mind spending money to buy you gifts, give their support and will always lend their shoulders for you to cry on.


I don't know what your definition of love is,

But I just realised that love is when your juniors attending your convocation and give you a hug, presents and flowers, (some walk miles under the burning sun to see you and say congrats) although you actually did not offer that much of help except being a friend to them and uttered some encouraging words for them to keep on going. MashaAllah. May Allah bless you, beautiful soul. You know who you are ;)


I don't know what your definition of love is,

But what I know is, love is when you are feeling so hard to bid farewell to one another. Giving a hug and your self keep on wondering whether could this be the last hug? After you pretty much grew up in the university together. Shared the worry, the sadness with each other. Celebrating one's birthday and achievement as if it is your own. Will we be able to find this kind of friendship anywhere else..?



For whatever your definition of love is, I am so glad that my understanding of love are as such. Contrary to what most people believe, love, is not at all about your love towards opposite gender, for real love requires years to build. It needs sacrifice. For years I believe that I am not a person who is overly attached to people, but voila, this is me, today, not only attached to people but is attached to moments and memories as well.

As I bid farewell to my university years, I want to understand goodbye just like what Rumi once said,

'Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul, there is no such thing as separation'

I would like to take this opportunity to really thank everyone who have made this possible. Wallahi, I don't think I can thank you enough. Alhamdulillah I am so grateful to Allah for blessing me with so many good people in my life- my parents for their constant support and motivation, my family, lecturers who are ever helpful, my batch and groupmates, akhowat, 'buddies', staff at the faculty, my patients for their trust and time! If I were in my patients' position, I don't think I will ever be able to do the same. May Allah continue to shower all of you with His blessings. Putting a title in front of my name is a big amaanah. I can feel the pressure. But I know I can do this because of the support I received from you, people.



*taking a deep breath*

Now life begins!



Ya Allah, I ask you to grant these people the best in their lives and hereafter. Alleviate their pain, make their affairs easy and bless them in whatever they are doing.

Ya Allah, bless the knowledge that I've obtained and let me utilise it well to serve this ummah.

Ya Allah, I ask You to keep guiding me, despite what the future offers. To don't ever leave me on my own. Because without You, I'm lost. Without Your love and guidance, I'm just a body walking without soul..

Ameen Ya Rabb!
'

'

                                                                       *nangis*
                                               

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Kerana Dia cinta sejatiku

Bismilllah

Sebelum anda baca post ini, saya minta anda untuk lupakan sebentar siapa yang menulisnya. Kerana saya tahu pembaca blog saya ini tak lah ramai mana, dan yang membaca itu pula kebanyakannya adalah kenalan saya, maka saya minta anda untuk cuba bayangkan bukan saya yang menulis ini, tapi ia adalah dari seorang saudara/ a sister in faith yang sedaya upaya membina ikhlas supaya apa yang cuba disampaikan ini dapat terus sampai ke hati anda. Fahami isi nya, bukan penyampainya. Walaupun post ini adalah agak peribadi buat saya, tapi saya kira harus saya kongsikan agar lebih ramai yang dapat manfaatnya inshaAllah.


Lewat kebelakangan ini, saya banyak berfikir dan merefleksi, terutamanya selepas pulang daripada Twins of Faith Conference tempoh hari. Fikir tentang kehidupan yang pernah saya lalui dan bakal saya lalui. Sungguh, terlalu banyaaaak nikmat yang Allah beri kepada saya. Nikmat dilahirkan sebagai Islam terutamanya. Dan selepas itu, nikmat dilahirkan dalam keluarga yang agak senang pula. Tak cukup dengan itu, nikmat berjaya masuk ke UM ni pula.


Dan jika kamu menghitung nikmat Allah (yang dilimpahkannya kepada kamu), tiadalah kamu akan dapat menghitungnya satu persatu; sesungguhnya Allah Maha Pengampun, lagi Maha Mengasihani.  (An-Nahl: 18)


Sehingga pada satu ketika, saya terfikir.. 'Apa lah yang aku buat hebat sangat sampai dapat banyak sangat nikmat ni' Dan langsung saya tersentap, terfikir dan tersedar yang rupa-rupanya saya belum berbuat apa-apa lagi. Setakat solat 5 waktu dan mengaji sikit-sikit tu, itu belum cukup untuk menunjukkan saya betul-betul hargai nikmat yang sungguh hebat ini. Allah...

Mari kenali saya 7 tahun yang lalu.

Sewaktu di sekolah menengah, saya sangat rajin study. Kerana sangat mahu berjaya dalam exam, selalu saya stay up sampai tengah malam dan hujung minggu pun masih dengan buku. Begitu juga sewaktu di asasi. Masih begitu rajin sampai roommate saya selalu lari ke bilik kawan dia sebab stress saya rajin study huhu. Dah lah rajin study, lepas tu rajin pulak pergi surau. Solat hajat semua. Ok cukup. Tentu anda rasa saya sangat bangga dengan diri saya maka saya ceritakan ini semua kepada anda kan?

Hakikatnya.. bukan begitu! Betul, saya selalu pergi surau dan rajin study semua, tapi itu semua untuk apa? Ketika itu semuanya hanyalah untuk berjaya dalam peperiksaan. Saya rajin ke surau supaya Allah bantu saya dalam exam. Kerana saya takut jika saya gagal,orang akan pandang rendah, pandang serong kepada saya. Maka saya berusaha keras untuk mengelakkan perasaan malu, malu dengan pandangan manusia. Astaghfirullah. Tidak cukup dengan itu, saya telah menggunakan Allah untuk mencapai target saya, iaitu untuk berjaya dalam exam dan kehidupan di dunia. Allahu.. tiada langsung perasaan bangga dalam diri ini, tapi yang wujud adalah hanya perasaan hina... Ampunkan aku Ya Allah T_T

Perkara ini saya kira ramai yang terlepas pandang. Kerana mahu berjaya dalam exam, kita gunakan Allah. Kerana mahu rezeki yang banyak dan melimpah ruah, kita gunakan Allah. Kerana mahu berkahwin dengan orang itu dan ini, kita minta tolong dengan Allah.

Tapi, bukankah ia sepatutnya begini..?

Kerana mahukan Allah dan syurgaNya, kita perlu bersungguh-sungguh menuntut ilmu, berjaya atau tidak dalam exam.. itu bukan persoalannya.


Sabda Rasulullah saw,  Sesiapa yang mengambil jalan untuk menuntut ilmu, Allah akan permudahkan kepadanya jalan menuju ke syurga (Muslim)


Juga, kerana mahukan Allah, kita mahukan rezeki dan wang yang secukupnya supaya boleh diinfaq ke jalanNya. Kerana mahukan Allah, kita perlu berkahwin dengan orang-orang soleh supaya baitul muslim yang bakal terbina mendapat redhaNya, dan dapat menghasilkan mujahid dan mujahidah yang 'izzah dengan Islam yang syumul ini. Tapi, sedikit sekali dalam kehidupan kita, kita tujukan apa saja.. and with  that I mean ANYTHING yang kita lakukan semata-mata untukNya.

Dan apa yang membuatkan saya bertambah-tambah sedih dan terharu dan malu kepada Allah lagi ialah walaupun kadang-kala saya tersalah niat ketika melakukan sesuatu perkara, Allah masih beri apa yang saya minta. Sungguh, Allah itu Maha Penyayang, Maha Mengasihani.

                                                                           kredit


Dulu-dulu, walaupun saya rajin study dan rajin minta tolong pada Allah, tapi saya masih lagi ada perasaan 'insecure'. Dan bila difikir balik, semua itu berlaku hanya apabila kita terlalu risau dengan pandangan manusia,  matlamat utama kehidupan kita belum betul-betul ditujukan kepada Allah semata-mata.

Dan kini, Allah beri saya satu lagi nikmat, iaitu nikmat untuk fahami hakikat kehidupan ini hanyalah untuk Dia. Amazingly, selepas saya faham itu semua.. tiada lagi perasaan 'insecure'. Kini yang wujud hanyalah perasaan yakin dan percaya bahawa Allah sentiasa bersama saya, membantu saya menghadapi mehnah / ujian di dunia yang fana ini. Manusia mungkin boleh berkata apa saja yang mereka mahukan, tapi hakikatnya, bukanlah mereka yang mengganjari saya syurga atau mengazab saya dengan api neraka kelak (nauzhubillah). Itu yang pasti.


Point nya di sini, andai sebelum ini kita pernah tersilap dan terleka dengan mainan dunia ini, mungkin sudah sampai masanya untuk kita 'reshuffle' semula prioriti hidup kita dan lantas, dengan perasaan rendah hati dan jiwa kehambaan, kita kembali kepada Dia. Sekiranya dalam hidup ini kita hanya mahukan kesenangan di dunia semata-mata, Allah pasti akan berikan dunia kepada kita. Tapi sekiranya kita mahukan kehidupan dunia dan akhirat yang berkat dan selamat, itu  pun akan diberikan Allah kepada kita. Maka pilihlah sewajarnya.


Moga sedikit perkongsian ini dapat memberi manfaat yang besar kepada anda yang membaca. Barakallahu feekum!





Allahu Rabbi.. sungguh banyak kasihMu kepada ku. Andai dapat ku rendahkan dahiku lebih dari rendahnya tanah yang ku sentuh setiap hari dalam solatku, aku sanggup Ya Rabb! Moga Engkau bimbing hati ini, hati yang mudah berbolak-balik ini.. terus lurus ke jalan menuju syurgaMu. Allahumma ameen.






IZ: Dah start study week. Mohon doanya ya agar saya diberi kefahaman dalam pelajaran dan dapat menjawab exam dengan tenang dan berjaya dengan cemerlang, dengan niat hanya satu- untuk menggapai redhaNya! ^^

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Antara saya dan da'wah

Bismillah

Dahulu sewaktu saya kecil, tak pernah terlintas pun di fikiran saya untuk menjadi pendakwah. Bunyi nya saja macam agak ngeri dan menakutkan. Sebagai kanak-kanak, yang terlintas di fikiran ketika sebut pasal pendakwah adalah gambaran pakcik-pakcik berjubah putih dan garang pula riak wajahnya. Tiada wajah ceria, tiada cerita lucu untuk kanak-kanak.

Sungguh, begitu jahilnya saya tentang definisi dakwah itu sendiri. Namun, itu hanya sewaktu saya masih lagi kecil dan seperti yang saya nyatakan, jahil, tidak tahu.

Masa berlalu. Kini, saya bukan lagi anak kecil. Alhamdulillah, kini ilmu saya juga semakin bertambah. Terlalu ramai sudah insan-insan hebat yang saya temui merupakan pendakwah-pendakwah tegar dan istiqamah. Dan mereka bukanlah pakcik-pakcik berjubah yang garang, tetapi wajah-wajah mereka lembut dan tenang kebanyakannya, juga dari pelbagai latar belakang dan dari pelbagai lapisan umur. Dan apa yang menyatukan mereka tidak lain adalah kerana satu misi, iaitu bersama-sama menyampaikan risalah dakwah kepada masyarakat.

Dalam Al-Quran Allah berfirman:

"Dan orang-orang yang beriman, lelaki dan perempuan, sebagian mereka (adalah) menjadi penolong sebagian yang lain. Mereka menyuruh (mengerjakan) yang ma'ruf, mencegah dari yang mungkar, mendirikan shalat, menunaikan zakat dan mereka ta'at kepada Allah dan Rasul-Nya. Mereka itu akan diberi rahmat oleh Allah; Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Perkasa lagi Maha Bijaksana".[At-Taubah:71]

Dengan pelbagai serangan pemikiran yang berlaku hari demi hari, mampukah kita untuk bertahan melihat saudara-saudara kita makin lama makin lemah jati dirinya, makin suram cahaya keimanannya? Mendepani dada-dada akhbar kini hanya seperti menyelak buku cerita ngeri dan menyesakkan nafas, cuma yang bezanya cerita ngeri ini seolah-olah tiada penghujung. The iman, sadly, is dying while the ummah is now suffering. Maka ayuhlah kita bersama-sama menyebarkan risalah Al-Haq ini, mengajak mereka yang jauh supaya kembali ke fitrah. Kata Rasulullah.. sampaikan daripada baginda walau hanya sepotong ayat.. sepotong ayat, adakah begitu sukar untuk menyebarkan sepotong ayat itu?

Peluang beriktikaf di masjid UIA pada malam ke-21 adalah satu rahmat kepada saya. Ketika jam 3.15 pagi, mata saya sudah terlalu berat dan meminta untuk direhatkan sebentar. Memandang ke kanan, pandangan saya disambut oleh senyuman seorang jemaah wanita berbangsa Arab yang selepas itu terus tekun dengan hafalan Al-Qurannya.

Dalam hati saya senyum sendiri, kalau tidak kerana Rasulullah saw, para sahabat dan alim ulama yang begitu bersungguh-sungguh berdakwah ke serata dunia, mana mungkin kami di sini, di bawah satu bumbung yang sama, sama-sama berbalas senyuman dan berusaha meraih redha yang Esa.. dan tidur saya di malam itu walau hanya bertilamkan karpet nipis, adalah tidur yang sangat nyenyak saya kira kerana ia bersulamkan harapan. Ya, harapan bahawa saya dan ramai rakan-rakan saya yang lain terus tsabat di jalan dakwah ini demi menghasilan jiwa yang rindukan cinta dan rahmat Ilahi juga dapat menghasilan produk-produk mukmin yang sejati. Perkenankanlah, Ya Rabb.

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Jodoh

Bismillah


Lewat kebelakangan ini selalu saya ditanyakan tentang jodoh. Daripada makcik-makcik yang ditemui ketika berbuka puasa, keluarga saya sendiri dan kawan-kawan pun ada. Sampai saya pun pelik. Sebaiknya soalan itu ditujukan kepada kakak saya yang dah nak masuk ke usia 24 tahun, sedangkan saya baru nak berusia 22 tahun.


Terbaru, saya mendapat panggilan daripada seseorang yang saya hormati yang usianya sudah boleh dianggap sebagai mak cik kepada saya, menasihati saya supaya berhati-hati dalam berkawan dan jangan terjebak dengan lelaki-lelaki yang tak patut. Saya pada mulanya agak terkejut mendapat panggilan daripada makcik ini pada waktu yang dikira agak 'odd', tapi bila perkara yang dibincangkan adalah tentang jodoh maka lagilah saya 'ehhh?'


Mungkin orang-orang yang bertanyakan saya tentang perkahwinan ini adalah orang yang cukup risau sama ada saya akan bertemu jodoh atau tidak. Lebih-lebih lagi apabila saya tidak pernah menunjukkan minat kepada mana-mana lelaki (yang maksudnya tak pernah ada boyfriend), ataupun mereka risau saya tidak dapat bertemu jodoh yang sesuai with my 5'8" height. Aha..!


Satu perkara yang mungkin makcik-makcik ini terlepas pandang ialah, tidak menunjukkan minat untuk mempunyai teman lelaki bukanlah bermaksud kita tak mahu berkahwin. Mungkin bila melihat anak kawan-kawannya sudah berpasangan dia mula risau bila kita tak ada pasangan. Tambahan pula, bila kita berada dalam bidang medical-dental ini, agak kurang waktu untuk bersosial. Mungkin anda yang membaca ini pun pernah mengalami situasi yang sama dengan saya. Dalam Al-Quran Allah berfirman:




(Lazimnya) perempuan-perempuan yang jahat adalah untuk lelaki-lelaki yang jahat, dan lelaki-lelaki yang jahat untuk perempuan-perempuan yang jahat; dan (sebaliknya) perempuan-perempuan yang baik untuk lelaki-lelaki yang baik, dan lelaki-lelaki yang baik untuk perempuan-perempuan yang baik. Mereka (yang baik) itu adalah bersih dari (tuduhan buruk) yang dikatakan oleh orang-orang (yang jahat); mereka (yang baik) itu akan beroleh pengampunan (dari Allah) dan pengurniaan yang mulia  An-Nur:26




Bagi sesiapa yang biasa mengikuti program-program atau usrah-usrah, saya yakin anda pasti sudah biasa dengan ayat ini. Maka untuk mendapatkan jodoh yang baik kita harus mempersiapkan diri untuk menjadi yang terbaik dahulu. Ibadahnya bagaimana, akhlaknya bagaimana. Tapi awas, niat untuk menjadi yang terbaik itu bukanlah semata-mata untuk berjodoh dengan lelaki yang baik. Sebaliknya, letakkan redha Allah di tangga yang pertama. Jodoh itu, dapat atau tidak, perkara kedua. Tapi walau familiar manapun anda dengan ayat ini, malangnya masih ramai lagi yang belum lagi jelas dengannya. Juga ramai lagi yang tak faham dengan konsep penjagaan ikhtilat antara lelaki dan wanita maka disuruhnya kita cepat-cepat mempunyai teman lelaki atau cepat-cepat bawa calon suami untuk diperkenalkan kepada ahli keluarga -_-"


Sungguh, tidak terlintas pun di hati saya untuk menjadi 'tensen' dengan pertanyaan-pertanyaan sebegini.. Ok tipu, sikit tu ada lah. Tapi golongan-golongan yang punyai pemikiran sebegini perlu didakwahi. Bagaimana? Dengan menjaga diri kita daripada mempunyai hubungan yang teman tapi mesra dengan lelaki-lelaki, dan yang paling penting, buktikan perkahwinan yang didasari atas dasar cinta kepada Allah adalah lebih sweet dan bahagia. Nanti bila dah kahwin dan dilihatnya toleransi dalam rumahtangga kita yang tak pernah dating masa mula-mula kenal dulu, mungkin dalam hati mereka mula meyakini perkahwinan tanpa dating sebenarnya lebih bahagia daripada yang berdating. Dan mereka pun tidak lagi mempengaruhi orang lain untuk mempunyai teman lelaki lagi dan maksiat pun berjaya dikurangkan dalam masyarakat yeay!


Walaubagaimanapun, saya masih lagi menghargai concern yang ditunjukkan oleh anda-anda yang gemar bertanya. Kalau ada yang risau, tak perlu risau sebab inshaAllah saya akan cuba berkahwin juga sebelum menginjak ke usia 27 tahun (ameen!) kerana ada satu kata-kata yang sering diulang-ulang oleh ayah saya di meja makan kepada saya dan kakak saya, tak lain dan tak bukan..




'Sesiapa yang tak kahwin sebelum 27 tahun, ayah burn sponsorship' 


Scary much? Well thats my dad. Huhu


'
Dan janganlah kamu menghampiri zina, sesungguhnya zina itu adalah satu perbuatan yang keji dan satu jalan yang jahat (yang membawa kerosakan) Al-Israa: 32


Katakanlah (wahai Muhammad) kepada orang-orang lelaki yang beriman supaya mereka menyekat pandangan mereka (daripada memandang yang haram), dan memelihara kehormatan mereka. Yang demikian itu lebih suci bagi mereka; sesungguhnya Allah Amat Mendalam PengetahuanNya tentang apa yang mereka kerjakan  An-Nur: 30




IZ: Sudah masuk ke fasa kedua Ramadhan. Bagaimana agaknya momentum iman dan ibadah kita. Makin laju atau makin layu?

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Heart turmoil

Bismillah.

I have been trying to put something in this blog, an educational one or any tazkirah, perhaps. But somehow I just dont have the idea on what to write. And seriously, I feel really bad about it. Could that mean I'm becoming further from Him and He now blocks my heart from seeing things that lead me to be closer to Him? Na'uzhubillah, please Ya Allah, dont leave me on my own...

These past few days were really a challenge. Life was really hectic until its really hard to find the time to have my meal, and thats from my schedule side. And from my little heart side, I just dont know what has got into me that I actually cried a lot and all of them because of the worldly problems that I have. I mean, come on Izyan.. if you ever want to cry, can you just please find a solid reason to do so?

Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite. When people are feeling down and come to me for some advices, I actually manage to advise them well and boost their spirit. But when it is ME who got inflicted with problems, I just become WEAK. I just cry and cry and cry.. Haih~

And now I'm posting this, which is far from something educational. I'm sorry for posting such childish entry, but the turmoil in me just needs to get out. I need to get back in track. I need to become closer to Allah. I just need to be on my own without not so nice people around me who always break my heart when they say something without thinking the relevance of saying it (sheesh.. I guess now you know some of the things that add up to the mess in me!)

Nevertheless, I'm trying to be as positive as I can. I guess its just a nature or a fitrah for a human being to be sad when there are things that burden them or something that does not turn out well in his/her life. But to get carried away by it and keep thinking about it, I definitely think it is not a Muslim-way-of-thinking.

Please be strong dear heart! Tsk tsk

A calamity that makes you turn to Allah is better for you than a blessing which makes you forget the remembrance of Allah - Ibn Taymiyyah

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Satu Cinta

Saja nak berkongsi. Lagu yang dipromote oleh rakan serumah tersayang, Cik Nurul Latifah. Terasa sebak dengar lagu ni. Mungkin kerana melodi dan bait-bait lirik yang menyentuh soal cinta kepada Dia. Ya, kepada DIA. Sayangnya ramai daripada kita pada hari ini semakin endah tak endah untuk menggapai cintaNya, tapi semakin berlumba-lumba untuk mengejar cinta yang berlawanan jantina. Cinta kepada Allah dijanjikan pahala dan syurga, tapi cinta kepada yang bukan mahram itu dapat apa ya? Sama-sama kita muhasabah diri semula dan gunakan akal yang dikurniakanNya untuk membezakan yang baik dan yang buruk, yang halal dan yang haram, inshaAllah :)

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A friend in need, is a friend indeed.

How does a friend influence you in your daily lives? Seriously tell me, how many percent of yourself today is contributed by your friends? Or in other words, how many of us shaped our lives as what we have always wanted, and not because of everybody else's influence?

As for me, I can say that friends do not influence me much in my life. Probably because I am aware with what Rasulullah (saw) once said:

Narrated AbuHurayrah:

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: A man follows the religion of his friend; so each one should consider whom he makes his friend. (Abu Dawud)

Or in other words, to be very careful in choosing friends. Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for that knowledge. Though they do not influence me much, but certain friends to me do succeed in teaching me things that I really treasure in my life.

My friendship with this friend of mine lasted only one year as she went to further her studies elsewhere whereas I, continued to pursue my study in UM.

But this one year of friendship really taught me a lot. Knowing her, made me understand life much better and helped me to become a better person.

Dear Zurina, just in case you are reading this ( which the probability of it might be only 1%), I just want to say

Thank you for making me feel thankful for the life I'm having now

Thank you for teaching me to be strong despite the hard times I was facing

Thank you for becoming so calm when I just couldn't be

Thank you for becoming my mentor in my studies.. we both did well Alhamdulillah!

And most of all, thank you for this ukhwah, we both love each other because our love to the Almighty God, Allah Subhanahu Wata'ala

May Allah guide and protect you in whatever you are doing and bless this ukhwah. Hopefully we can meet up someday. If not in this world, in Jannah inshaAllah! :))

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Reluctance Zero

Sometimes,

As much as we want to make the people around us happy, they never make an attempt to make us happy

As much as we want to make everybody around us feel important, they never see us as someone that worth the thought

As much as we dont want to let the people around us down or disappoint them, they actually have the talent to make us disappointed

BUT,

Does that mean we should stop doing what is good to do just because some people failed to do like we did to them?

NO! Absolutely not! You see dear friends, this life is rather short, and we never know when will be our turn to return to Him. So why not we use every single time, every single moment in our lives at its best?

Yes, I understand that some of us might feel tired of being kind to people yet they never appreciate it. But hey, like what I've mentioned in my post months ago, the two angles, Raqeeb and Atid are actually writing down every deed that we do! So na-ah, there should never be the feeling of reluctance in being kind to people. If they dont appreciate you, Allah will.. and it is all that matters!

Hmm perhaps Winnie the Pooh was right when he once mentioned:

A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference

Yup, if there are some considerations being shown, maybe things are going to be a little bit better. Or shall I say, a LOT better.

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Tahu, atau tak?

Masa cuti sememangnya masa untuk jadi lain sekejap. Dont get me wrong, Bukannya jadi lain as in jadi orang lain. Tapi lain dari segi rutin kehidupan yang biasa kita buat.

Waktu cuti, boleh keluar riadah dan jalan-jalan dengan family. Waktu cuti boleh guna untuk baca banyak buku-buku yang tak berkaitan dengan dental. Waktu cuti boleh cuba pelbagai resepi baru. There can be various reasons why people always looking forward for holidays.

Cuma.. waktu cuti juga boleh jadi waktu yang memilukan. Bila cuti, banyak peluang untuk jumpa kawan-kawan lama. Tapi bila kita jumpa mereka, mereka bukan macam dulu lagi. Benarlah, Allah hanya memberi hidayah kepada yang dikehendakiNya. Tapi, kenapa bila hidayah itu telah pernah diberi, kita tidak menghargai, malah merobeknya dan buang jauh-jauh seumpama kita tidak pernah diberi apa-apa?

Waktu cuti, banyak peluang untuk jalan-jalan. Cuma, luluhnya hati ini bila tengok orang di sekeliling ini macam tak tahu apa itu dosa, apa itu pahala. They seem too engross about this world that nothing bothers them to do something that will please Allah.

Erm I dont know how to put this into sentence because I may sound as if accusing people around me. But I'm not really accusing. I'm just curious. I really want to go near them and ask, 'Do you know, or you dont know? Because if you dont know, with this little knowledge that I have, I will be more than happy to share it with you. You know, something that was taught to me when I was in standard one, that holding hands between male and female is haram, and wearing clothes that show our aurah is haram too. Oh, and we'll be placed in Hell if we dont repent before we die. Which can be tonight, or tomorrow, or even right after we step down this escalator' Hah! Take that.

But of course, that thing just linger in my head. Oh courage, why are you hiding yourself from me?

Saya sedar, bila keluar dan lihat masyarakat sekeliling, golongan yang betul-betul mengetahui hanya sedikit. Yang auratnya dijaga baik, yang pergaulannya dibatasi.. hanya sedikit. Saya tak tahu jika perkataan 'mengetahui' itu kena pada tempatnya. Sebab saya pasti ada antara mereka yang sudah pun tahu, tapi buat-buat tak tahu yang saya pun tak tahu apa alasannya (berapa banyak tahu daa.. :p)

Tapi naluri saya kuat mengatakan lebih ramai yang tak tahu daripada yang pura-pura tak tahu. So that comes to ourselves then, on what should we do about it. Agak sesak nafas sebenarnya bila lihat terlalu ramai golongan yang perlu didakwah, perlu diberitahu. Tapi itulah tugas kita, kan? Otherwise, we are the ones who are going to be asked during the Judgement Day. Takpe2, take it as a challenge. After all, Allah takkan bebani kita dengan sesuatu yang tak mampu kita pikul. Dan kalau tak berjaya sekalipun, Allah tahu kita telah mencuba.

Ayuh barisan pendakwah, kita rangka strategi! Moga Allah bukakan pintu hidayah kepada orang-orang yang kita sayangi ini, dan permudahkan jalan kita, InshaAllah

IZ: Teringat kata-kata naqibah saya dalam usrah yang lepas-lepas. 'If you feel like there's nothing wrong about this world we live in, there's nothing wrong with the people around you, then surely, there is something wrong WITHIN YOU' Thanks for reminding us. InshaAllah I will remember that for the rest of my life :)

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Chill.. This life is not forever~

Have u ever wish to just disappear from everybody's sight then show up again, hoping that things that were miserable when u disappeared to turn out to be okay this time? I did. But the thing is, that thing is impossible. And that means, I have to endure it, no matter how difficult it is.

Holidays are supposed to be enjoyable and also relaxing, yet I have to bear with these feelings.The feelings of guilt and hurt. And plus, I also feel regret on how I spent the 1st week of my semester break. I didnt really make plan on how I should spend my holidays hence making it a waste. Truthfully, I dont really know what I did last week, and suddenly it is week two now. I dont know... something is just not right... Hopefully week 2 will be better.

If there's a thing that I really want right now, it is definitely to go somewhere else where there's no one I know there, travelling on my own, and only have Allah to guide me to somewhere safe, somewhere peaceful. Yea its possible, but only in million yrs perhaps. My parents would have reported me missing and probably do a massive search. Hmm but I can always tell them first right? But.. nah.. they will never allow me to...

I never thought that life can be just like a drama. And now that it turns out to be like that, I never thought that I will be one of the lead characters. It just does not make sense.

I'm sorry to any of u who come to read this post, yet it is just a piece of junk of my emotions. It is not my intention to make this blog as a place or a site that I can just let out everything I feel in my heart. It should be beneficial to others. It should be relevant to all my brothers and sisters in Islam, so that they can ponder about on the thing that I wrote.But, due to my limited readings, there are not so many things I can discuss about. InshaAllah there will be no more post about emotions after this. I'll keep it private.

I think it is enough for now. Telling virtual friends might not help me to solve the problem out, but I guess I'm feeling better now. And the best remedy of all, which I think all of us are certain about is of course asking for Allah's guidance.. for me to get out of this hard situation. C'mon izyan! U've experienced a lot. Tlglah grow up... Hm I think I should get a diary book, as life has become more complicated these days. And when time goes by, I can always take a look back at what have I wrote and probably when I become a better me, wiser me and stronger me (inshaAllah), I'll treasure these moment of hard times and I'll appreciate my self more for trying to survive in this difficult world.

I should get a diary book. As soon as possible.

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My emotions.again.

La tahzan... innallaha ma'anaa

"Dan barangsiapa menjadikan Allah, Rasul-Nya dan orang-orang beriman sebagai penolongnya, maka sungguh, pengikut (agama) Allah itulah yang menang."

(al-maidah: 56)

Keep going on, izyan. Dont look back anymore. Pastinya setiap kesusahan itu akan disusuli kemudahan. Yakinlah padaNya.

p/s: kpd sesiapa yg klu2 situasi anda mcm sy, ucapan ini juga ditujukan kpd anda :)

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Loss of sensation.

Salam. Sedikit luahan perasaan. Hmm tak taulah nak consider ini perkara yang baik atau tak. Tapi yang saya perasan, saya sekarang macam dah lain sikit. Huhu. Bukan apa, semenjak dua menjak ni serasanya macam dah kurang berperasaan. Kalau happy tak happy sangat, kalau sedih pun dah macam tak sedih.

Kalau zaman kecil-kecil dulu, sayalah yang paling cepat menangis dan merajuk. Baru je kena jegil mata sikit, dah mengalir air mata. Kalau mengaji quran dengan ayah pulak, habis basah quran tu dengan air mata bila kena marah sebab salah baca. Adik-beradik yang lain cool je kalau kena marah dengan ayah pun. Bila dah sekolah menengah pun sama. Cepat sangat terasa kalau orang cakap apa-apa.

But things changed, and of course people too. Kalau di optech lab, (tempat kami practise handskill untuk treat patients with teeth probs n so on) saya langsung tak ada perasaan kalau kena marah dengan supervisor. Sedikit sedih tu mungkin ada, tapi tak lah sampai keluar air mata macam dulu-dulu. Kalau kena puji pulak (baru je sekali kena puji pun) tak rasa happy pun.

Bahayalah rasanya kalau perkara ni berterusan sampai ke klinik nanti. Bak kata Dr Azwatee, a dentist is someone who works with head, heart and hand ( but i think most ppl work with these things too, arent they?) and I wonder if i'm heartless, got no feelings, will that make me a good dentist by then? Nanti nak cabut gigi orang pakai tarah je. Orang sakit ke, tak sakit ke.. main cabut je. Eheh. Sorry2 I was just exaggerating. Kalau orang dah sakit meraung-raung tu kita buat tak kisah saja, I dont think we can even call that person a human, at all.

Hmm entahlah. Dulu masa terlalu sensitif, nak jadi kuat. Sekarang bila dah kuat (ye ke?) rasa macam nak sensitif pulak. Terutamanya bila kita menghadap Tuhan, saya mengharapkan perasaan yang cukup sensitif, yang membolehkan saya menangis dalam sujud dan doa. Tapi jarang nak dapat perasaan macam tu sekarang ni. Terlalu banyak perkara dalam fikiran. Sedangkan Allah itu memang dekat sangat dengan kita. Nak mengadu apa pun boleh.

I wonder if this thing happen with an increase in age. And if it does, can I just wish I will never age? Because being sensitive seems to be a good thing after all. Hmmph.

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