November 29, 2009

Chill.. This life is not forever~

Have u ever wish to just disappear from everybody's sight then show up again, hoping that things that were miserable when u disappeared to turn out to be okay this time? I did. But the thing is, that thing is impossible. And that means, I have to endure it, no matter how difficult it is.

Holidays are supposed to be enjoyable and also relaxing, yet I have to bear with these feelings.The feelings of guilt and hurt. And plus, I also feel regret on how I spent the 1st week of my semester break. I didnt really make plan on how I should spend my holidays hence making it a waste. Truthfully, I dont really know what I did last week, and suddenly it is week two now. I dont know... something is just not right... Hopefully week 2 will be better.

If there's a thing that I really want right now, it is definitely to go somewhere else where there's no one I know there, travelling on my own, and only have Allah to guide me to somewhere safe, somewhere peaceful. Yea its possible, but only in million yrs perhaps. My parents would have reported me missing and probably do a massive search. Hmm but I can always tell them first right? But.. nah.. they will never allow me to...

I never thought that life can be just like a drama. And now that it turns out to be like that, I never thought that I will be one of the lead characters. It just does not make sense.

I'm sorry to any of u who come to read this post, yet it is just a piece of junk of my emotions. It is not my intention to make this blog as a place or a site that I can just let out everything I feel in my heart. It should be beneficial to others. It should be relevant to all my brothers and sisters in Islam, so that they can ponder about on the thing that I wrote.But, due to my limited readings, there are not so many things I can discuss about. InshaAllah there will be no more post about emotions after this. I'll keep it private.

I think it is enough for now. Telling virtual friends might not help me to solve the problem out, but I guess I'm feeling better now. And the best remedy of all, which I think all of us are certain about is of course asking for Allah's guidance.. for me to get out of this hard situation. C'mon izyan! U've experienced a lot. Tlglah grow up... Hm I think I should get a diary book, as life has become more complicated these days. And when time goes by, I can always take a look back at what have I wrote and probably when I become a better me, wiser me and stronger me (inshaAllah), I'll treasure these moment of hard times and I'll appreciate my self more for trying to survive in this difficult world.

I should get a diary book. As soon as possible.


Anonymous said...

what got into ur mind? ive been through the same feeling before but ur right. its just impossible


yan, dh beli a diary? heh~
i also have one, but only used it when i really need it, as in my depression mode..and i mainly wrote to Allah actually, for Him to guide me in those difficulties, and forgive me for whatever sins that i've done..

its kind of stress therapy i think.. huhu..u shud try..see if it suits u..and pls dont bottle everything up inside ur small heart, it wont do you any good k..

may He bless..

Izyan Zainuddin said...

cyrus: hiya! thx for the concern
well we cannot hope for life to be smooth sailing isnt it? it has its ups n downs too. its obstacles. but those are the things that make us a better person actually, for we have learnt on hw to live in this world, the way it shud be.

n u've been thru the same feelings? hmm lets just try the diary therapy like my sis said kat atas ni. i'm okay now. hopefully its cool with u too

kak shirah: oo akak pon ade eh?
huu blom bli lg lah kak. but i did manage to find someone to be my diary, so i actually let everything out to her lah

sok nk kuar, so i'll get one tomoro, n yup, will do the same things that u do. surat cinta untuk Dia. i wont bottle up everything. thanks. moga2 kite terus kuat ye kak :)

About Me

25. Aim to live with the principle of to love for others what I love for my self. A dentist by profession. A Muslim by religion. A Dai'yah by action ( well at least that's what I hope I am) My writings are usually of reflections on matters happening around me.

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