Holidays are supposed to be enjoyable and also relaxing, yet I have to bear with these feelings.The feelings of guilt and hurt. And plus, I also feel regret on how I spent the 1st week of my semester break. I didnt really make plan on how I should spend my holidays hence making it a waste. Truthfully, I dont really know what I did last week, and suddenly it is week two now. I dont know... something is just not right... Hopefully week 2 will be better.
If there's a thing that I really want right now, it is definitely to go somewhere else where there's no one I know there, travelling on my own, and only have Allah to guide me to somewhere safe, somewhere peaceful. Yea its possible, but only in million yrs perhaps. My parents would have reported me missing and probably do a massive search. Hmm but I can always tell them first right? But.. nah.. they will never allow me to...
I never thought that life can be just like a drama. And now that it turns out to be like that, I never thought that I will be one of the lead characters. It just does not make sense.
I'm sorry to any of u who come to read this post, yet it is just a piece of junk of my emotions. It is not my intention to make this blog as a place or a site that I can just let out everything I feel in my heart. It should be beneficial to others. It should be relevant to all my brothers and sisters in Islam, so that they can ponder about on the thing that I wrote.But, due to my limited readings, there are not so many things I can discuss about. InshaAllah there will be no more post about emotions after this. I'll keep it private.
I think it is enough for now. Telling virtual friends might not help me to solve the problem out, but I guess I'm feeling better now. And the best remedy of all, which I think all of us are certain about is of course asking for Allah's guidance.. for me to get out of this hard situation. C'mon izyan! U've experienced a lot. Tlglah grow up... Hm I think I should get a diary book, as life has become more complicated these days. And when time goes by, I can always take a look back at what have I wrote and probably when I become a better me, wiser me and stronger me (inshaAllah), I'll treasure these moment of hard times and I'll appreciate my self more for trying to survive in this difficult world.
I should get a diary book. As soon as possible.