April 3, 2011

Heart turmoil


I have been trying to put something in this blog, an educational one or any tazkirah, perhaps. But somehow I just dont have the idea on what to write. And seriously, I feel really bad about it. Could that mean I'm becoming further from Him and He now blocks my heart from seeing things that lead me to be closer to Him? Na'uzhubillah, please Ya Allah, dont leave me on my own...

These past few days were really a challenge. Life was really hectic until its really hard to find the time to have my meal, and thats from my schedule side. And from my little heart side, I just dont know what has got into me that I actually cried a lot and all of them because of the worldly problems that I have. I mean, come on Izyan.. if you ever want to cry, can you just please find a solid reason to do so?

Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite. When people are feeling down and come to me for some advices, I actually manage to advise them well and boost their spirit. But when it is ME who got inflicted with problems, I just become WEAK. I just cry and cry and cry.. Haih~

And now I'm posting this, which is far from something educational. I'm sorry for posting such childish entry, but the turmoil in me just needs to get out. I need to get back in track. I need to become closer to Allah. I just need to be on my own without not so nice people around me who always break my heart when they say something without thinking the relevance of saying it (sheesh.. I guess now you know some of the things that add up to the mess in me!)

Nevertheless, I'm trying to be as positive as I can. I guess its just a nature or a fitrah for a human being to be sad when there are things that burden them or something that does not turn out well in his/her life. But to get carried away by it and keep thinking about it, I definitely think it is not a Muslim-way-of-thinking.

Please be strong dear heart! Tsk tsk

A calamity that makes you turn to Allah is better for you than a blessing which makes you forget the remembrance of Allah - Ibn Taymiyyah


Yuana said...

Assalam Sis,

La Tahzan ya :)

" Within each of us is a hidden store of determination. determination to keep us in the race when all seems lost. "

What say you?
What determination are safely hiding inside you?
Fint it out. :P

Izyan Zainuddin said...

Jazakillah kak yuliana
Huhu yea I know there are some in me, just that it hasnt found its way to come out. yet.
But I'm feeling better these days, alhamdulillah :)

Yuana said...

i believe it has find the way out, please give it the way ;p

Alhamdulillah ;)

About Me

25. Aim to live with the principle of to love for others what I love for my self. A dentist by profession. A Muslim by religion. A Dai'yah by action ( well at least that's what I hope I am) My writings are usually of reflections on matters happening around me.

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